I was grieving for home, not knowing if I had found it
2021, 200g paper, charcoal pencil, 32 x 53 cm
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I think the feeling of "home" is a big, tight, tangled tangle of our past, our feelings, physical characteristics, upbringing, abilities, nervous system, and level of personality development.
We are remarkably similar to each other as a whole, and just as remarkably dissimilar in the combination of details. That's why the house for all of us is different. And the way to it will be different complexity, despite the seemingly similar initial data. A huge number of factors, many of which predate our birth, create this path.
Therefore, some of us will find a home anywhere and in any form. They will just have to overcome some internal conflicts or be surrounded by "their" people. And that is life. Others will only feel at home by creating a space where every millimeter simplifies their routine and serves their primary purposes. And that's life. There will be those who, while actually having a home, will not be able to overcome the past and allow themselves to accept that home. And that's life. Some will choose striving, others will choose humility. That, too, is life. And some will be bad in striving, and some will be good in humility. And that's life. It's going on right now.
And within this story, we have a very powerful tool: knowledge of ourselves and others. The ability to build a multifaceted picture in our minds, exploring humanity and the world. And, looking into this kaleidoscope, to answer for ourselves many questions, including "where am I now and how do I feel, am I well here?", "what is home for me?", "am I as needy as I think I am?", "what will I lose or gain in humility and what in striving?" and so on and so on and so on. Lots of questions and answers to help us get to know ourselves and perhaps find something special - a home within ourselves.
